Emotional Roller-coaster...

I write and document to remember life... the good and the not so good moments of this craziness of daily life... it's also therapy for me when I feel the weight of life pressing around me.  It's a way for me to freeze time and see a snippet of life more clearly.

This summer was an emotional roller coaster as we entered the next stage of teenage life... dating!  How do you turn off those "mom feelings" of trying to fix and protect?!?  That is what I struggled with and continue to struggle with in letting our kiddos grow... learn... and have new experiences in life.  I am a fixer... a worrier.. a "want to make life all rosy and better" person especially for those that I love. It's probably why a bunch of new gray hairs popped up this summer! Ha.  Sometimes I need to let things settle in my mind before I can write about them... which brings us to why it's been so quiet on the blog for the summer.

The first emotional roller coaster had to do with dating and following the "Mormon rules"... who knew that first, not everyone follows the same rules and second, for those that do abide by those rules, they will also enforce those same rules on your family even if you are not Mormon! I really struggled with this... while Ainsley was accepting and went along with it probably because it's more "normal" for her in her life experiences... especially based on where we live.

All her bff's are Mormon and I love them like my own kiddo and thankfully they love, support, appreciate and accept her for the wonderful person she is. I have always been open to having her support her friends too... if they ask her to church because they are playing the piano or she has a friend that is giving a talk... I encourage her to go and support them. I feel secure that we have given her a good religious background to draw from. Her going to the LDS service isn't going to change her and if down the road when she is an adult and decides that is the path for her, then it truly will be HER path and HER journey.

That being said, she spent the summer sending 22,000 texts and talking 182 hours on the phone (thank goodness for unlimited phone plans) to her first "real" boyfriend... meaning someone we met and talked to on a regular basis.

But while they were "dating" his family followed the strict Mormon rules.  Don't date until you are 16, only go on group dates and don't go on a date with the same person more than a couple times.  And lastly don't be exclusive until after your mission.  Those rules/guidelines I think make it tricky on the heart ..especially in Ainsley's case where she had a "boyfriend" who also went on dates other people?!? And while his parents were fine with inviting her to their family cabin for the weekend she wasn't able to go to the Homecoming Dance with him because she wasn't 16. He asked someone else but they were still "dating"? It has been different and hard to understand especially since all her friends' families don't follow the same guidelines or only adopt some of them. So yes... I had a few Mama Bear moments of "What isn't my kiddo good enough?" Thankfully in those moments I am able to call upon my wonderful friends in my life to help me understand other views... thoughts... and beliefs!  And just when you get things figured out... they are onto "dating" other people and another roller coaster begins!